Actress Drew Barrymore seems to have a pretty good attitude towards dog ownership. Here, for instance, is the speech that she gives to all her dogs, upon acquiring a new canine: “Good afternoon. I’m not neurotic, nor will you be.” Interesting! And a little crazy, but still kind of a good speech.

Drew loves dogs, and has recently gotten a new one. Unfortunately, not everyone is as good with animals as she is. For instance, David Letterman kind of sucks with them, apparently. Which is what is revealed on ‘Late Show’ (weeknights, 11:35PM ET on CBS).

Ms. Barrymore is very excited about her new pet, who is named “Douglas,” and who has the same birthday as she does. (That date would be February 22nd, for the record.) But she also reveals that she recently lost a dog named “Flossie.” This particular dog lived until she was sixteen years old, then sadly passed away. Still, that’s a ripe old age for a dog. Drew reveals that she honored Flossie by taking some of her ashes to India — she put Flossie’s ashes in the Ganges river, considered to be one of the most sacred spots in the world. How sweet!

After Drew is finished telling this story, Dave reveals just how bad he is at the whole pet ownership thing. He rolls up his sleeve and shows the multiple nasty bites that he has gotten from his dog. Ouch! “Oh my God!” Drew says. Yeah. It seems that Dave isn’t quite as skilled with dealing with animals. But not everyone can be Drew Barrymore, and not everyone can give cute yet bizarre speeches to their pets.